Friday, February 13, 2009


Ancient Polynesian voyagers brought with them chickens. So did Filipino sugar cane workers, centuries later. When Hurricane Iniki hit in 1992, coops were blown to smithereens, freeing barnyard birds to mate with those in the wild, and producing today’s plethora of proud and free creatures, who rejoice in song every day beginning around 2 a.m. The colorful birdies, including this one at Kukuiolono Park in Kalaheo, have had no natural predators. Until now.


1. While driving, keep on the lookout for a chicken that recently, regardless of its intentions, failed to make it across the road.
2. Thus tenderized, your dinner is ready to be decapitated, plucked, and gutted.
3. Place chicken in pot of boiling water, along with a medium-sized lava rock, one bundle of wiliwili twigs, and Hawaiian sea salt.
4. Boil for four hours.
5. During cook time, enjoy your favorite cocktail beverage.
6. If chicken remains tough, eat the rock and twigs.
7. Enjoy!

Actually, some people do eat these birds, after boiling for a mere two hours, and claim they are tasty enough, if a bit stringy.